No Comprendo
by MyFalseTruth
Summary: Ryou goes to the park to avoid things he doesn't like. Homework, drama, bullies. So what does he do when those things catch up with him at the park? Speak Spanish, a language he barely knows, and hope they fall for it! AU Being rewritten.
1. Chapter 1

Ryou Bakura was sitting alone on a bench at the local park.

If he had a more sentimental mind, he'd quote poetry.

The park was virtually empty. But then again, it always was. Nobody who had friends hung out at the old park. Not to say Ryou didn't have friends, he just wasn't all that close to them.

Ryou went to the park whenever he was bored. Or if he just needed a change of scenery, maybe even to study. This was one of the studying times. Right now Ryou was going over the vocabulary for his Spanish quiz in his head.

The problem with vocabulary is that Ryou tended to focus less on the actual words and their meanings. His attention was always captured by the accent and speech patterns. The words were like an art form. The simple little things like the rolling of R's or the places letters changed their sound to one uncommon in the English language fascinated him.

In retrospect, it would probably be better to actually **know** the words he was supposed to be saying, but it was just much more fun to mimic the accent. His teacher has even said that Ryou's accent could pass for native, if only he would say... well, the right words.

'Okay, so a way to greet somebody is... uh _encantado, me llamo Ryou' _oh yes, must be polite._ ¿Y tu?' _He closed his eyes in concentration and continued to think of the simple conversation with himself. Just a tad worried he has spent a few months in that class, yet couldn't remember what encantado meant. That is the reason for the current studying.

'Perhaps I just need to take my teacher's advice and associate it with something?' Ryou thought almost half desperately. It may not sound like that big of a deal, but when somebody starts a conversation with words you don't know, that conversation does not have much potential.

Ryou sighed in defeat. 'Doubt I'll be remembering that anytime soon.'. Ryou opened his eyes and saw a boy standing over him. Ryou jumped from the shock of seeing a stranger so close to him and Ryou's forehead connected with the stranger's chin. Needless to say, Ryou had a hard head and both him and the stranger were sent sprawling to the ground with Ryou clutching his head and the stranger his chin.

**Ryou's POV (Point Of View)**

Ow.

I hadn't meant to do that really. But, Ow.

Really, it's a normal reaction! Ow. When some guy is standing over you like a creeper, **normal** people tend to be weirded out. Now that I'm actually looking at him and I get a closer look at him I see that he looks... like me. Whoa, weird.

Still hurts, though.

"What're **you** staring at?" The lookalike asked harshly. Heh, I wonder if this is what I'd be like if I were a jerk.

"Uh, _lo siento por eso_." I apologize. Or at least I think I did. Like I said before, vocabulary and I aren't the best of buddies. Also I would like to point out that I have a really angry scary dude right in from of me and he isn't the happiest at the moment.

I don't even know what I was thinking. Oh yeah, that's right. I wasn't. I meant to say something in English... but hey, maybe if he thinks we don't speak the same language he'll leave me alone. It's a long shot but it might happen.

Maybe.

"Don't you speak English?" He sneered in a mocking tone.

Geez, is this guy so snarky all the time? I wonder if he so angry all the time because he annoys himself.

No Ryou! This is definetly **not** the time to have witty commentary in my head. Focus on the angry guy in front of you.

Eh, that thought doesn't make me want to talk to him.

"_No hable ingles. Como te llamas?" _I stuck out my hand quickly for him to shake. It looked pretty awkward, even to me.

The guy blinked as he looked down at my hand. "...You asked my name right? ...It's Bakura." Bakura seemed partially apologetic and somewhat reluctant to apologize. I get the feeling he doesn't apologize often. This just might be a historical moment. I resist the urge to look at my watch to document the time it happened.

Bakura slowly reached out and shook my hand.

**Bakura's POV**

Man that kid has a hard head! I was just looking at him when he freaks out and smashed his head into my chin.

And no, I was **not** being a creeper. I had just decided to take an oh so innocent stroll through the park when I see this kid who looks just like me. Maybe that's an exaggeration. He looked a lot more... a lot younger than me. Less... threatening in a way. Maybe it was just that his hair was actually what some people would call decent.

But do you know how much trouble I go through in the morning to make my hair look **this** awesome?

So anyways, like I saying, I'm just walking through the park and I see this kid who looks like me sitting on a bench with his eyes closed. Any **normal** person would be curious. Not that I'm normal. Please. You can't lump somebody as cool as me with all the losers out there.

I noticed him staring at me. "What are **you** staring at?" I asked harshly.

"_Um lo siento por eso."_ What?

"Don't you speak English?" I swear if this kid's playing some kind of joke on me-

"_No hable ingles. Como te llamas?"_ He asked and stuck out his hand very awkwardly for me to shake. Maybe it isn't an act, he sounds pretty... whatever you'd call it. Real? Foreign? Is that a good word to describe it? Whatever. I think that means something about my name... is he asking my name?

"You asked me my name right?...It's Bakura." I'm kinda wary right now, but I guess he might be the real thing. I shook his hand. There's really no reason not to, I mean, who can he tell the **The** Bakura was actually civil? From his uniform I can tell he doesn't even go to my school. Plus it gets tiring being a jerk to losers. You think being as cool as I am doesn't take just a little effort?

In fact, I feel a little guilty. Not that I'd ever say that out loud. But I was a bit harsh to the kid when he probably gets picked on a lot. He is slightly feminine and he just comes off as quiet and shy. Pair that with the white hair and his small build making him the kind of kid bullies dream of getting the chance to torment.

Speaking of which, his appearance makes me want to punch him, just a little.

The kid, he said his name was Ryou or something right? Is that even a Mexican name? Well anyways, Ryou stood up and offered me a hand. I didn't accept it. I mean, I have an ego to maintain.

Ryou dusted himself off and looked at me in a nervous way, yet he seemed slightly... not nervous? I don't know, I can't explain it.

Whatever.

Methinks it's time to go. I shot him my trademark smirk, yeah that's right, **trademark.** Stuck a hand in my pocket and raised my other in farewell as I strolled away.

"See ya kid." Man, I bet, no, I **know** I look so cool right now.

**Ryou's POV**

Bakura walked away in that too-cool-to-care way he seemed to have **waaay** to much practice doing. A small part of me me hoped I might see him again, it was the most entertaining first meeting I'd ever had. While another part, the more rational part, said I was lucky to get out of that without getting beaten up.

A huge smile crept onto my face when I realized Bakura actually **did** believe that I was Hispanic. I mean, if I'm albino then I really could be, My hair would be white and my skin would be pale regardless of my nationality.

I couldn't stop the laughter as the thought of that too-cool-to care bad boy fell for my trick! Bakura doesn't seem like a person whose very bright anyways. Plus his hair looks ridiculous. I mean, it looks like he has bat wings on his head. Bat wings or bunny ears.

Oh Ryou, you're so witty.

**TBC**

**Translations**

_encantado- _Pleased to meet you

_Me llamo- _My name is...

_¿Y tu?- _And you?

_lo siento por eso.- _Sorry about that.

_No hable ingles- _I don't speak English

_¿Como te llamas?- _What is your name?


	2. Chapter 2

The day after Ryou first met Bakura, Ryou found himself in the park on the same bench.

**Ryou's POV**

Stupid Spanish homework. I get **why** I need to do it, but why so much?

I suspect the teacher hates us.

You may think it odd, but why else would he be so cruel? Not even the English teacher assigns this much. The **English** teacher. And we speak English!

So here's my theory. The Spanish teacher had, once upon a time, been an ordinary kid in school. He started being less popular with his peers so after he was constantly rejected by girls he liked and isolated from everybody, he swore revenge on school children. He spent many years attending college and eventually getting his master's degree in teaching a foreign language before he put his plan into action.

To begin he got a job in a normal little town. Where he became the Spanish teacher. You see, he chose a foreign language to teach because generally kids who are willing to learn another language are over- achievers who won't sacrifice their grades for a social life.

So he slowly started assigning more and more homework. Emphasis on the slowly. He did it so steadily that his students barely realized they were getting so much homework until it was to late and they were declining invitations from their friends so they could get their absurd amount of homework done.

Now we may only may be halfway through that, but it's going to happen.

My thoughts grew more and more paranoid the longer I sat there. I was so absorbed in my mental rant that I didn't notice a certain white haired guy sit down beside me.

**Bakura's POV**

I saw that Ryou kid sitting on the same bench as yesterday.

'Hmm, might as well grace him with my presence.' I thought grinning as I made my way over to where he was sitting.

Ryou is so adsorbed in whatever he's writing he didn't even notice I came over. I silently sat down, casually leaned over, then discreetly looked at what he's writing. I'm practically a ninja it was so secretive. I'm expecting a letter from some secret agency wanting to hire me for my amazing skills soon.

It was pretty useless to do that, the looking at his writing part. It's all written in Spanish! So I guess he really was telling the truth and doesn't speak English. I totally called it. Totally.

"Ahem" I clear my throat to get his attention, and the kid practically jumps a foot in the air he's so startled! Thankfully he didn't jump into my chin again. I wonder if he reacts like this anytime somebody tries to talk to him.

But I swear I won't hesitate to punch **him** in the chin if he hits me again. Nobody that... petite can best the amazing Bakura.

**Ryou's POV**

"Ahem" came from beside me and made me jump in shock. I hadn't realized I was that out of it. I must break that habit. Last time I zoned out that much I hadn't come 'back down to earth' until everything I owned had been taken from me and put in the fountain.

What I really wonder is how they got the majority of my clothes off without me noticing...

After recovering from my shock I see it's Bakura. I should have hit his chin. Maybe that would teach him not to sneak up on me. You think he would learn from past experiences. Is it too late to jump into his chin?

I glance at Bakura quizzically.

Yeah, yeah I think it is.

I look at Bakura a little more, pursing my lips.

Or is it?

I narrow my eyes as somebody bad vision would to see better.

Yeah, it's too late. Too bad.

"Hey, Ryou" Bakura said in a singsong voice.

"_¿__S__í?"_ I asked, I don't know if I really like his tone...

"_¡__Puedo__reclamar__este__banco__! _I claim this bench!" He said with a smirk. I bet he was so proud he could say that. I bet he was so proud because he stayed up all night thinking of that.

But I'm glad he gave the translation right after or my cover might have been blown. Yeah that's right. My cover. I'm like a secret undercover spy. Only not in as cool of a situation. Note to self: as soon as possible, become secret undercover cop/spy/agent. Or do you need to go to some country like England for that? It seems like the best secret agents are from England. The popular ones it seems. Wait, isn't that an oxymoron? Popular secret agent. Yeah, that's an oxymoron.

I shook my head in to clear those weird thoughts out of my head. I need to focus on my Spanish homework. My English teacher sure would be proud of me, though.

Oh wait, Bakura's still here. Oops, forgot about him for a second there. But I don't know how to reply to what he said. Literally and figuratively speaking.

I think Bakura wanted more of a reaction from me. Because he started poking me in the arm. The first poke made me flinch, more from surprise than anything else, I swear. I'm totally not a weakling like so many people think!

More pokes were delivered to the exact. Same. Spot. I ignored it for a little bit, but he wouldn't stop!

My lips twitched downward into a semi-scowl as soreness started spreading in my arm. I shall never admit this hurts.

I moved down the bench so I would be out of reach of that evil finger. Yes, it's evil. Bakura isn't. He's more like a small child trying to get his way by annoying people.

But his finger... pure evil.

Bakura moved down and resumed poking me. I'm about to hit him. Dang, what's with these violent thoughts? I do have to wonder how mad he would get if I did hit him, probably a lot. I internally chuckle. I wonder if Bakura's face would get all red if he got mad. That would be so funny. It would be even funnier if smoke started coming out of his ears like in those old cartoons.

The contrast of the color of his face and his hair would be interesting to see. I'm tempted to do it just to see how it works. Perhaps...

Bakura poked my arm extra hard.

"Ow!" I exclaim. Drat! I hadn't meant to do it! Bakura is smiling this infuriating grin that is causing me to grow angrier just seeing it. My arm is sore. Really sore. Like really, **really **sore. That's right, it's so sore it need two really's to accurately describe my pain. This is just a source of amusement for him. Not that it hurts that much. Okay kinda, maybe a little, yeah.

I move down the bench a little.

Bakura followed.

**Bakura's POV**

I kept poking Ryou. It's amusing. This is my way of testing people's patience. The longer they last, the less likely it is that they'll call the cops on me. At least that's how I see it.

Ryou moved down the bench so I did too. Does he really think that will work? Now it seems like Ryou's going off into his own little world. So to get him to pay attention I poke him really hard in a spot I'm positive is sore by now.

By 'a spot' I mean the only spot I've been poking this whole time. If there was an award for accuracy when it came to poking people in the arm, I would have all of them. Whether because I won them or stole them, I would own them all. Then promptly burn them all. I won't be seen having a wuss award like one for poking people in the arms.

"Ow!" Ryou exclaimed. But I'm pretty sure it was more from the shock of me pulling him back to reality. I will not be ignored.

Ryou moved down the bench a little.

I followed.

**Ryou's POV**

'Why won't he stop poking me?!' I thought as I moved down the bench **again**. It was a mistake and I regretted doing it the moment I saw Bakura's grin turn into a smirk of victory.

I was at the end of the bench.

He better not-

THUD

-push me off.

He just pushed me off. Dude, I just got pushed off a bench by a stranger.

Who even does that?!

Bakura pumped his fist in the air in victory. " _Puedo reclamar este banco en el nombre de Bakura! _"

An idea for revenge came to mind, I know it may be pathetic but at the moment it seems incredibly brilliant. Bakura didn't notice me grabbing one of my pencils or a stick note. I'm not even sneaky or anything, he was just that caught up in gloating about his victory. This will teach him. Teach him not to mess with me!

Even if everybody else does, he won't get away with it!

**Bakura's POV**

That was hilarious! Ryou's expression was priceless when he realized I was gonna push him off! In fact, it was so funny, that I forgot about Ryou until I heard a small thud. I looked up from my laughter. And saw that Ryou had stabbed a pencil into a crack in the bench. But it wasn't just any pencil, on the pencil was a sticky note with 'Ryou' written on it to create a makeshift flag.

As clever as that was, I couldn't let Ryou win. No, with that flag he was denying my claim to this bench. I can't let him do that. He looked comically horrified when I pulled the pencil out and tossed it aside.

I sat there smugly with crossed arms because I had won, this was a time for gloating. Well, all the time is a time for gloating because I'm just that awesome, but now is extra special. Ryou stood up and pointed to the pencil with a deadly serious look on his face.

The message is clear: pick up the pencil.

I wasn't about to do that though, and apparently Ryou wasn't about to stop either.

"No" I said immaturely.

" _Sí." _Ryou said equally as mature as me.

"No."

" _Sí"_

"No"

" _Sí"_

"No"

"_¡__Sí!" _Ryou glared at me. He looked about as threatening as a baby bunny... But doesn't that kinda mean I'm kinda having a glare-off with a baby bunny?

"Fine" I stood up trying to maintain as much of my pride as I can. This is just so this kid will stop with that pathetic little glare of his. It, it actually made me a bit sad to see somebody who looks so much like me so bad at something that had been perfected by me.

It does stroke my ego a bit to know nobody, not even a doppelganger, can glare as well as I.

Just as I was bending over to pick up the pencil, I was tackled to the ground by a laughing Ryou who jumped on my back.

Normally I would've gotten incredibly angry, but Ryou just amuses me. That's why, instead of punching him in the face like I would to anybody else, I rolled over so **he **was pinned to the ground. Now it's my turn to laugh. And laugh I shall.

Ryou tried to do the same to me and we ended up wrestling in the dirt. We're laughing like madmen, I will even admit it's kinda fun. At least until a beeping interrupted our match. We stopped and I looked around to find the source and I noticed it was Ryou's watch. He looked down at it and his eyes widened. Ryou scrambled up, grabbed his books and ran out of the park.

Before he was out of sight Ryou called back to me, "_¡__Adios!"_ as he waved with the hand not carrying his books.

**TBC**

Translations

_Sí- _yes

_¡Puedo reclamar este banco!- _I claim this bench!

_¡Puedo reclamar este banco en el nombre de Bakura!- _I claim this bench in the name of Bakura!

_Adios- _Good bye


	3. Chapter 3

Ryou and Bakura continued to meet up in the park everyday since they met,it's been about a week, and they've both had genuinly fun moments. One might call it friendship.

They wouldn't.

To Bakura, Ryou is the kid he goes to the park to annoy. To Ryou, Bakura is the guy who keeps bugging him at the park.

**Ryou's POV**

The walk to the park is always so peaceful. The leaves are starting to fall and trees are on both sides of the path. It's graceful, elegant, and... wow, truly just breathtaking. The colors all mix together yet stand out at the same time. Then they swirl to the ground in their own little paths just so people can give themselves their own soundtrack of crunches as the admire this beauty.

To tell the truth, this seems like some cliché movie scene. Or maybe it's just that movies are cliché real-life scenes.

It makes absolute sense!

And absolutely none at all!

Maybe that's why all movies are the same, they study people and their daily routines, then replace them with actors who need to have incredibly short marriages just to maintain their slight fame. I might be over thinking this a tad.

Or I might not be thinking this through enough.

My thoughts were cut short by Bakura yelling "AAAHHHH!" from above what sounds like above.

I immediately stopped and dart my head left and right to find him but he found me first.

By landing on top of me.

That jerk jumped out of a tree to tackle me! I guess it worked because now I'm pinned down on the ground and Bakura is sitting on my back.

We had kicked up a cloud of dirt and leaves when he had forced us into a landing that had been accompanied with a thud and a yelp from a party who shall not be named.

"_¡__Bajas!_" I yelled at him. I had to go do research on my own to find words to say to him. Not really like it matters but a while ago he knew, like, a phrase of Spanish so I can never be too careful.

"Bwahahaha!" Bakura let out a bark of laughter. As odd as it may seem, that's his natural laugh.

**Bakura's POV**

_Previously, before the ambush._

So here I am, sitting in a tree almost completely concealed.

There is a point to this, I assure you.

You see, this tree has big branches that hang over where Ryou walks to get to the park.

Speak of the devil, here comes Ryou! He'll never see this coming! No -must resist- need to evil laugh- at the thought of my revenge. An evil chuckle escaped my lips. The traitor.

Oh screw it! I'm jumping now!

"AAAHHHH!"

THUD

Bulls eye!

"_¡__Bajas!_" Ryou yelled at me. Even though I have know clue what he just said this is hilarious!

"Bwahahaha!" I laugh while sitting on Ryou's back. I enjoyed my victory for a while. And by enjoyed, I mean sat on his back and laughed while Ryou yelled at me. It's a pretty funny situation to find yourself in. And I plan on milking this moment for all it's worth.

After a while, after I had my fill of laughing at his expense, it got boring of just sitting there so I got off him.

Plus he really isn't that much of a comfy chair. Ryou and I stood up and I noticed something odd. One of my shoes was missing. I look down at the sock in the spot where a shoe should be.

I swear it was on my foot when I was in the tree! I was about to interrogate Ryou but he had took off running for the park. Fleeing the scene of the crime eh? I think that automatically makes him guilty.

I took off after him, but man that kid is fast! Oh no, he's climbing up a tree. A tree whose branches are too close together for me to fit though. I'll admit I'm kinda small, but Ryou is just plain puny. There's no way I could follow him. So I settle for the best thing I can do in this situation.

I yell at him. I know we don't speak the same language, but he should get the message. Yelling is nice in that way.

"Give me back my shoe!" I yell at Ryou who had managed to get as close to the top as possible.

"_No_!" Ryou called back.

"Give it!"

"_No_!"

"Give it back!"

"_No_!"

…. This might take a while. And took a while it did, about five minutes later the conversation was continuing like this:

"Give!"

"_No_!"

"Give me back my shoe!" I yelled up the tree. Then a voice familiar to me interrupted our argument.

"Bakura, why are you yelling at a tree?" The owner of the voice was none other than my closest friend Marik.

"What do you want Marik?" I ask him harshly. Yep, we're the best of friends.

"You know that yelling at the tree won't make it want to give you back your shoe. I don't know why it'd want it in the first place, your feet smell nasty."

"I'm not talking to the **tree, **smart one, "I explained rolling my eyes. "I'm talking to the kid **in** the tree who took my shoe."

"How'd he get your shoe?" Marik looked skeptical.

"This isn't the time for questions! I want my shoe back!" I snapped while I nodded my head up to the tree to motion to the kid in said tree.

"Why don't you just ask for it nicely?"

I sigh and began talking very slowly like one would to a child. "Not only is that a stupid idea, he doesn't speak English."

"Oh,"

"Yeah," We stood in silence for a moment.

"...What does he speak?" Marik inquired.

"Spanish... wait a minute!" I swear a lightbulb appeared above my head. "**You** speak Spanish!"

"Yeah, not to brag but it's one of the many languages I happen to speak."

Bakura made a face. "Yeah, yeah, yeah, talk to the kid. Get my shoe back and I may return a certain object you've been wanting back for a while..." He left off simply refrencing to an object of Marik's he had stolen a while back.

The great thief he is, not even Bakura's best friend knew where he hid something when he decided it wasn't to be found.

Marik's eyes brightened up, "You mean you'll give back my Midnight Beast CD?" Bakura shuddered almost unnoticably before nodding almost as unnoticaly as the shudder.

**Ryou's POV**

I moved my head around trying to get a better view of Bakura through the treetops. From what I can tell some other guy showed up and started talking to Bakura.

Speaking of Bakura, man, his shoe stinks! Really bad.

I think a bird overhead just died from the smell. I'm not even kidding.

I wonder who Bakura is talking to... from their facial expressions, they look like they know each other. I don't know how they **look** like they do, it's just one of those things you have to see.

Now the new guy turned his attention to me. Well I assume it's me he focused on. There happened to be a lot of leaves and general treeness obscuring my view.

I can barely make out what he's saying. Does he think I have super hearing or something? Oh my goodness, that would be cool if I did. Maybe I might become a super hero one day. Yeah! My super power can be to... say the word apple and an apple will fall from a tree! Just like that one dream I had once. After that dream I never had soda right before bed again.

Oh yeah, New Guy is still talking to me. Looking at him closer I notice, that, wow is he ever tan. It might just be because I'm so used to really pale people, but he wow. Tan.

He is tan.

Like, really tan.

No way is that genuine.

I kinda zoned out. Uh oh, I think he's talking in Spanish... this could blow my cover! I can't come out of the tree. I have to stay far enough away we can't talk. I will now live in this tree.

I looked around and internally marked the different parts of my house. To my right shall be the bedroom, and to my left will be the kitchen...

I think they realized I can't hear them or was just generally zoning them out because Bakura started to talk again. If you could call it talking, all he does is yell. Geez, I steal **one** smelly shoe right from off his feet... literally from right under his nose, and the guy gets all mad.

"This isn't working," Bakura said to the guy then looked back up at me. I totally forgot I could read lips! That might have been more helpful. "Give me back my shoe!" Bakura yelled at me again. That I heard.

"_No!"_

"Give it!"

"_No_!"

"Give it!"

"_No_!"

"Give!"

"_No_!"

"Give me back my shoe now!" Bakura was getting pretty frustrated. New Guy just looked amused while he turned his head back and forth to look at which ever white-haired boy happened to be yelling.

"_No!"_

"Fine keep it!" Bakura yelled.

"_No!_" I accidentally said. Oh no. I hadn't meant to say that! Darn it! Why does this always happen to me?! I thought, he, you know what? I don't need to explain myself. This kind of argument happens to everybody! So back off! Wow Ryou, arguing with yourself like this? You've sunk to a new low. Shut up! You don't know me! I am you!... Shut up!

"Haha! VICTORY!" Bakura yelled.

New Guy spoke up, "How is it victory if he doesn't know what you're saying? Anybody could've tricked him with English!" He pointed a finger at Bakura. "You accomplished nothing!"

"... Shut up Marik" So, New Guy's name is Marik? He doesn't look like a Marik, more like a... Jesse. It might just be the hair though. Or Bakura's feet stink fumes messing with my head.

"HEY RYOU!" Bakura yelled startling me out of my thoughts. The jerk almost made me lose my balance! I covered my ears with my hands. Trust me you would too, he yells really **really **loud.

Covering my ears just then is possibly one of the stupidest things I've ever done because it put Bakura's smell shoe right next to my nose. And trust me I've done some pretty stupid stuff, but this tops the list. Or maybe second place. There was that one time when I tried replacing my father's figurines with my sister's Barbie dolls and thought he wouldn't notice...

I'm getting pretty woozy. Maybe I should get his shoe away from my face?

I probably should have listened to the stink hallucination voice thingy before, because everything went black and I started falling backwards.

**TBC**

**Translations**

_Bajas_- Get off

_No-_ No


	4. Chapter 4

**Bakura's POV**

Ryou just fell out of a tree!

But on the upside I got my shoe back.

Marik is checking on Ryou so don't worry. I doubt he's hurt, it's not really that big of a fall.

Oh my poor little shoe, how I've missed you.

"Mmghhmmfh..." I think Ryou's waking up.

Ryou starts moving. So he** defiantly** is waking up. I hope that fall taught him a lesson about trying to steal from me! Even just a shoe, nobody steals from me without falling out of a tree! This might be the first time but I don't care! It'll happen again if somebody ever tries to steal from me again! It totally will.

"Are you okay?" Marik was asking Ryou. Well if he's conscious then probably fine. I always wondered why people feel the need to ask redundant questions. And yeah, I can use big words like redundant. So take that!

Now that my shoe is back on my foot and all the important things are taken care of I can turn my attention to Ryou. I know what you're thinking, but no, I am **not** selfish. He got what he deserves for stealing my shoe! But back to Ryou. He's conscious now so of course he's fine.

"Huh?" Ryou said a little dazed.

"Oops! I'm stupid!" Marik smacked his forehead with his palm. "You said he speaks Spanish.¿_Le parece bien?_"

I butt in, "I've been telling you you're stupid for how long. 'Bout time it finally sunk in." I remind him how stupid he is, every time he does or says something stupid. And trust me, he does/says stupid stuff a lot. **A lot. **

"Shut up Bakura. Nobody likes you."

"You seem to like to hang out with me a lot." I snorted.

"That's out of pity" Marik countered.

"Sure," my voice is dripping with sarcasm. "Of course that's why."

"You know, sarcasm is the lowest form of humor."

"Says the lowest form of life!"

"What are you even talking about?"

"Aha! I have confused you!"

"Shut up Bakura." Marik turned back to Ryou, "¿_Le parce bien?"_

"_Sí. Gracias. __Me siento bien. No gracias a él!" _Ryou replied then pointed at me. What did I do to deserve that reaction?

Oh yeah, the whole 'my shoe made him fall out of a tree' thing. Can't he let that go? It been, like a whole five minutes!

Marikchuckled and I got defensive. He said something bad about me didn't he? "What did he say?" I demand.

Marik smiled, "Oh, nothing to worry your pretty white head about."

I growled and gave Marik the evil eye which caused him to laugh even more. Stupid fool! Marik continued. "Oh Fluffy, you crack me up. But what do you think we should do now?"

"I don't know, you think of something."

"Hmmm," Marik thought for a second then his face lit up as he thought of a great idea. Here it comes. "We should play hide-and-seek in the woods!"

"No." I said flat out.

"Why not? You're so judgmental and hate all my ideas!" Marik accused dramatically.

"No I'm not, I'm just reasonable. How on Earth could hide-and-seek even work? If you hadn't noticed, which I wouldn't be surprised if you hadn't, you're wearing shiny gold jewelry! That stuff tends to show up easily in a forest."

"So? I have a little disadvantage, I'm okay with that."

I sighed. "Did you ever happen to take a look at me and Ryou?" I motioned to us. "We have white hair and pale skin, that doesn't do much for camouflage."

Marik pouted when he realized I was right. I'm always right. As long as you don't count the times when I'm wrong, then I'm always right. Yup, that's my logic. "I guess you're right... Ohmigosh! You and Ryou look like twins!" Marik spazzed out.

Even Ryou face palmed at that outburst.

"Marik," I started slowly. "You're just realizing this now?"

"Yeah why? Should I have noticed it earlier?"

Ryou and I face palmed again.

"Never mind." I said.

"Fine if you're such a party pooper that you don't wanna play hide-and-seek, then lets go on the swings!" Marik pointed at said swings happily.

"Marik I-" I began but was cut off by Marik.

"Me and Ryou are going on them with or without you!" Marik pulled Ryou away toward the swings before anybody could say anything.

**Ryou's POV**

Well that was certainly an... amusing conversation to listen to. Marik is pulling me to the swings. I don't think he can tell I'm not really a Spanish speaker. But I gotta admit, I spoke pretty well. Totally not conceited at all. I'm pretty sure every thing I said was correct. I think... I hope.

Marik and I arrived on the swings and he shoved me on a seat then proceeded to push me.

I can do it myself!

Is what I would say that to him too, but I don't really know how to... -Nice going Ryou- Shut up you! You're supposed to leave with the stink induced hallucination! -You can't get rid of me that easily!- Oh yeah? Go! -Just saying 'go' won't make me leave- If I say it enough you'll get sick of it and leave! So go! Go! Go! Go! Go! Go! -Fine already I'll leave- Yes! Victory! -I'mnotreallygonnaleave- What was that? -Nothing...-

Bakura arrived at the swings and Marik already pushed me up really high. It was actually pretty fun! I totally did not just think that. Bakura is just standing there like he's too cool to play on the swings, whatever, more fun for me!

"Hey Ryou!" Marik said to me. "_iSe llamo 'Kura!"_

Bakura growled, "Do not. Call. Me. That." I get the feeling he doesn't want to be called that. That makes my next plan even better: play dumb.

"_Se llamo 'Kura." _I repeated innocently while putting my finger on my chin thoughtfully.

"Marik!" Bakura shouted.

"Fine. I apologize. You want me to tell him to call you Fluffy right?" Marik asked in a simple way that said this wasn't an unusual thing to happen.

"No I don't want him calling me any of the stupid nick names you've given me!"

"Stupid? **Stupid?**" Marik said over dramatically. "I go to the trouble of thinking up those meaningful names and you call them stupid?"

Bakura sighed. "Marik you think of these silly names in a few minutes and give me a new one every week."

"Let's see what Ryou wants to call you then!" Marik turned his attention to me. "Ryou! _¿Como se __llamo?" _

Hmmm, how badly do I want to mess with Bakura?

"_Se llamo 'Kura." _I stated even more innocently than the first time. Apparently, I wanted to mess with Bakura a lot. Somehow even when I reach the peak of innocence and cuteness, I go and make it even more innocent. I amaze even myself.

"HA! Told you!" Marik said victoriously.

"He only said that because you told him to!" Bakura accused.

"Fine if you don't like it, tell him not to call you that." Marik said like it was the most obvious thing in the world.

Bakura growled, "I can't. I don't **speak** Spanish."

"That's your fault, not mine."

Is it just me or do they seem like an old married couple?

**Bakura's POV**

Marik is the most infuriating person I've ever met! But for the life of me I can't figure out why we keep hanging out. I guess he's the kind of person you can't stay angry with for long.

But why did he have to go and make Ryou start calling me 'Kura? I can't even tell him to stop! I mentally growl. That must be why, Marik is a lot smarter than I give him credit for. Not that I'll ever say that out loud.

I swear, I would hit Marik if he didn't look so much like a girl. Not that that stops me most of the time. But still...

Anyways back to the topic at hand. Ryou had slowed down to a stop on the swing.

"Me and Ryou are going for a walk!" He said in his drama queen mode and grabbed Ryou's arm and dragged him away down a path. Not like he doesn't do this often. All I have to do is wait for him to calm down and he'll be back to his normal annoyingly, overly cheery self.

"The correct grammar would be 'Ryou and I' Stupid!" I called after him.

**Ryou's POV**

Marik dragged me off on his 'walk'.

But this isn't a walk. It's more of an 'angrily storming away'. Okay I may not be the best with words but who cares? -I care!- Not you again! Go! Go! Go! Go! Go! -You are so childish- I know you are! -sigh- Don't 'sigh' at me! I'll sigh at you! Sigh! Take that! -I'm leaving- That's right, you better!

After Bakura was way out of sight Marik turned to me and said, "Ryou, you don't really speak Spanish do you?"

**TBC**

**Translations**

¿_Le parece bien?_- Are you okay?

_Sí- _Yes

_Gracias-_Thank you

_Me siento bien- _I'm okay

_No gracias a él- _No thanks to him

_Se llamo- _His name is

_Como se llamo- _What is his name


	5. Chapter 5

**Ryou's POV**

Marik turned to me and said, "Ryou, you don't really speak Spanish do you?"

I'm speechless. How did he find out? When did I mess up? Did I say something wrong? Did I-did I-did I-? Calm down! Mkay. Lets figure out how this happened. Discreetly... Scratch that, I have no idea what I could possibly say.

"_No comprendo." _I said. Another strike of pure genius. Note the sarcasm. Maybe he'll believe me. I wonder if he'll fall for it.

"I'm not falling for it." Marik stated. He can read minds! That must be how he figured me out! That's the only explanation! Okay, so how do I deal with a guy who can read minds?... Maybe I should find another guy who can read minds! No, that's ridiculous! I don't have enough time for that.

"Okay, I don't really speak Spanish." I sighed reluctantly. That's whats become of my plan? Confession? Maybe I can start talking in Spanish again and just pretend I didn't say that. Would he fall for **that**?

"Ha! I knew it!" Marik cheered and started doing what can only be described as some sort of odd victory dance.

"So you weren't positive?" I asked.

"Nope!"

Nice going Ryou! That's what you get for confessing! I can't believe I fell for that. After Marik finished his dance he asked, "Why did you make Fluffy think you were?"

I explained my situation to Marik and how it went from trying not to get beaten up to playing a prank on him. A plan that was going great... a plan that, I just noticed now, has a lot of holes in it.

"So are you gonna tell Bakura?" I asked hesitantly. You can't tell with this guy, he's the living definition of bipolar. To be honest I don't really know what the** actual **definition is... but if I had to guess it would be Marik.

"What? Of course not! Why would I miss the chance to pull a prank of Fluffy?" Marik enthusiastically declared. Don't be fooled by the question mark, he wasn't asking. He was declaring.

"Okay thanks."

"No need to thank me! It's what I do!"

"Do what?"

"What now?" Marik asked like what he previously said hadn't been said.

"What you just said before."

"What did I say before?"

"That you-" I sighed. "Never mind."

"Well now that that's over lets get back to Fluffy. I'm sure he misses us by now." I doubt Bakura misses Marik. Marik is more the kind of person... who... Bakura wouldn't like. I wonder why they hang out. Have I mentioned they seem like an old married couple? Pretty sure I have. Because it's true.

**Bakura's POV**

Now that that fool Marik is gone, it's finally peaceful around here. Sadly, peaceful also means incredibly dull. I can't stand him being around, but it's so boring when he isn't here. I'll just say that I'm bored because he took Ryou with him to. Even though we can't talk, it's still fun to annoy him! You wouldn't think somebody like Ryou could take some of the wrestling matches we've had but the kid hasn't ceased to amaze me yet.

Again, not one of the things I would ever say out loud.

I was interrupted from my musings by a familiar cry from the idiot known as Marik. I turned around and as I did he latched onto my back, I managed to keep my balance for a few seconds before I collapsed to the ground with Marik on top of me.

Marik was dramatically sobbing on my chest. "Fluffy! I'm so sorry! Please forgive me! I didn't mean any of those awful things I said before! Or any of the nasty things I called you while I was mad!"

I sighed. That's all people around Marik seem to do. "Marik, get off me."

"So you forgive me?" Marik asked hopefully.

"I will if you get off me."

"Okay!" Marik was instantly happy again. Really, with this guy 'over dramatic' is the best adjective. Then I realized something.

"Wait, what awful things did you say before?"

"Oh, maybe I just told Ryou... Let's forget the past."

As Marik got off me I noticed something fall out of his pocket. Curiously, (not nosy!) I picked it up and opened it.

"Marik," I asked.

"Hmm?"

"Why do you have sheet music in your pocket?"

"Bad Fluffy!" Marik scolded. "I told you know more stealing!"

"I didn't steal it Marik, it fell out of your pocket."

"Liar!"

Marik looked over to Ryou to confirm. Ryou shook his head, it really had only fell out of his pocket.

"Oops... you weren't lying."

"..." I waited for an explanation of the paper. Judging by Marik's blank expression, I wasn't about to get one. "Why do you have sheet music?"

"Oh that! I joined the school's bell choir!"

I did the most reasonable thing: laugh. I laughed until my stomach hurt. After my laughing fit was over and Marik stopped pouting, Marik kept explaining, "That's the song we're playing."

"Why is so much highlighted? There's no way one person could play this much!" I pointed to the music which had almost all the notes highlighted in bright colors. There were only a few here and there that weren't.

"Silly Fluffy, I'm not playing **those** notes. I play the ones that aren't highlighted!" Marik said like it was the most obvious thing in the world. Which, to him probably was. I think I would be permanently scarred to live in Marik's world for a day.

"Why would you **highlight** the notes you don't play?"

"Must I spell it out for you?" Marik sighed. "I highlighted them so I would know which ones **not** to play."

I wonder if Marik realized this made absolutely no sense whatsoever. I doubt it. Marik is certainly not the brightest. But Ryou must have found this whole thing funny because he started giggling.

"See! Ryou gets it and is laughing at you!" Marik declared victoriously. Ryou's giggles turned into full out laughter and Marik started laughing with him. I think my eye started twitching. Only Marik can get these kinds of reactions out of people.

"Goodbye Fluffy, I've no more time for your foolishness." Marik said in an overly sophisticated tone after he finished laughing. Does he not understand what's going on? But then again that may be asking to much. Marik walked off. I looked around and noticed the sun was setting. It's getting late.

"Fool," I muttered under my breath. "Well Ryou looks like it's time to say goodbye." I said starting down the path in the opposite direction Marik had just taken.

"_Adios." _Ryou said. I don't speak Spanish and even I knew what that meant. Psh, I don't need that drama queen Marik as a translator. And yes, I mean drama **queen**.

**TBC**

**Translations**

_No comprendo-_ I don't understand

_adiós-_ Goodbye


	6. Chapter 6

Ryou's POV

Marik has been helping me trick Bakura for a week, but I'm starting to feel kinda guilty about lying for so long. It may have only been a couple weeks (if even that) all together but I still feel guilty. I need to stop being so nice. It's getting annoying. If only I didn't have that stupid conscience. But what if not having a conscience made me like Bakura? What if not having a conscience made me Bakura? I don't think I could deal with having that stupid hair!

Anyways, Bakura, Marik, and I have been meeting at the park for a while and Marik has been acting like my translator. Of course not exact translations because I keep saying stuff wrong but he makes it sound like I know what I'm talking about! I probably will never have the skills to do that on my own, and I'm surprisingly okay with that.

I just got to the tree where I met Marik. Marik told us to meet here but he wouldn't tell us why. I'm worried it involves some sort of prank on us. That's kinda become a regular thing with us, whoever gets to the park first tries to prank the next two. So far I've had water balloons dropped on me, water balloons filled with food, water balloons filled with glue then one with glitter right after, and one filled with dye. All courtesy of Marik. He isn't very creative with his pranks.

Bakura was defiantly not happy with the dye balloon. He had neon green hair for two days! It was hilarious! But then Bakura knocked Marik unconscious, drew on his face with a sharpie, and threw me into mud for laughing. That didn't stop me from laughing at his hair. So he made sure my backpack was also completely covered in mud. I stopped laughing at that point.

Bakura has come up with more creative pranks. Once he even set up one of those net traps! You know the things that if you trip the wire the net pulls up and you get trapped suspended above the ground. Of course I didn't fall for it. I mean, there was a pile of leaves covering it. In a very obvious way. Needless to say, Marik still fell for it.

My pranks weren't the best but not the worst. Although, my prank kinda is the best in a way. I mean, I've made Bakura think I'm Spanish for how long now?

Marik called a truce for today. And Marik doesn't lie... he just stretches the truth. There is a difference. All you have to do is use the right wording with somebody who only stretches the truth. Even Marik isn't dumb enough to break a truce and make Bakura and me team up on him. Or is he that stupid...? You never know with that guy.

Bakura showed up, suspicious, but present.

"Fluffy! Ryou!" Marik called while running down the path towards us carrying a... picnic basket? Where do you even get those anymore? They still make them?

"Fluffy! Ryou! Lookie what I got!" Marik proudly displayed his basket.

"Marik why do you have a picnic basket?" Bakura asked.

"Because Fluffy, in cooking class we made this stuff and I wanted to share it with you guys!"

Bakura and I exchanged looks. Should we trust him?

"You guys don't trust me?" Marik exclaimed. "I thought you guys had more faith in me!" Marik started sobbing.

But Marik cries so often it kinda lost its meaning. He cries when he trips, once when he found a candy bar in the vending machine (he was so happy so I guess it was tears of joy), when he saw a dog running after a Frisbee (it reminded him of some sad movie he barely remembers), when he saw a little kid crying ('sharing the pain' in his words), even when he saw a cloud in the shape of a fish (either he was happy fish finally learned to fly or sad that it was gonna suffocate).

Bakura sighed, "Fine Marik, we'll try your... food." he paused and look at the basket suspiciously. "It **is **food right?"

"Of course it's food Fluffy, now you and Ryou come and sit down!" Marik laid a blanket down and collapsed on it. "Come hither my fluffies."

Bakura rolled his eyes but sat down with me anyways. I can tell he really hates that name.

"Marik, don't you think the name 'Fluffy' would be better for Ryou?" Bakura asked slyly. Does he really think that he can get out of that nickname that easily? Besides, Marik wouldn't... actually he would.

"You're right Fluffy, Ryou needs a name too! Hmm..." Marik tapped his chin thoughtfully. "I got it! Ryou shall from this point on be known as Lil' Fluff!"

I face palmed. 'Lil' Fluff'?

Bakura wins this round, I'll give him that.

Bakura's POV

That plan only halfway worked. I got Ryou a ridiculous nickname, but Marik is still gonna call me Fluffy! I despise that name! Although, I will always get a little satisfaction knowing Ryou's is even more silly.

Wait a minute... how did Ryou know what Marik is calling him? This seems to be happening a bit. Maybe Ryou is starting to learn English? I mean, you can't really live in a country where English is the language and not at least **try** to learn it. That must be it.

Of course the food Marik brought out completely shut down any competent thoughts. Marik is a great cook, this only proves his effeminate-ness more. Is that a word? You know what? I don't care, there is food, and I will eat it. Simple as that.

Ryou's POV

My mouth literally started watering when Marik took the food out. It smells so yummy!

"Alright Kitties, there are sandwiches, shish kabobs, fruit salad, grapes, and if you're thirsty, lemon aid." Marik said as he took out each item.

How can such delicious food...? When would he...? Is it...?

I barely listened as Marik kept talking, "I hope you guys like it, I got an A! So the teacher likes it! Or she gives me good grades 'cuz I'm so smexy." Marik laughed at his own joke.

Of course Bakura and I were still mesmerized by the food. When will he give it to us? I'm just gonna ask for some! In Spanish of course, I'm not completely brain dead.

"_Quiero comer la torta? Por favor?" _I looked at him with the most adorable puppy eyes ever just to secure my food. What? You can never be to careful.

"Awww! So cute!" Marik ruffled my hair. Only now would I allow this. "Of course you can!" He gave me a sandwich and I swear I'm about to start crying I'm so happy. And if you're judging me right now, you honestly have no idea how **amazing** this food smells right now! Plus I missed breakfast and lunch today. I would have eaten it even if it wasn't this masterpiece.

I took a bite of the sandwich and I almost died it was that amazing. It's double decker club sandwich with the bread slightly toasted yet moist, crispy lettuce, and juicy tomatoes. So much more tastes but my taste buds went dead from the pure deliciousness. Truly, this is food fit for gods that us mere mortals are able to indulge in.

That's right, this food is so awesome, it turned me into a poet.

"Does Fluffy want some food too?" Marik looked at Bakura.

Bakura's POV

Of course I want that food! But there's always a price. You see, Marik would never, under **any **circumstance, tamper with his own food. But making me beg for it would give him satisfaction just as well as a pranks. The sadistic freak.

"Well? Does Fluffy want it?" Marik asked motioning to another sandwich.

I'm not about to cave right away! "No." I stated, crossed my arms, looked the other way, and prayed that I could restrain myself from doing something I'd regret to get that food.

"Oh, that's to bad." Marik set down the sandwich. He reached into the basket again. "Would Fluffy like some homemade fried chicken with the special sauce that looks like blood he likes so much?" He asked again deviously.

I'm at a loss for words. That... Jerk! He **knows **how much I love that! Grrr must remain strong!... will... slowly... collapsing... n-need chicken.

"Yes." I muttered.

"What was that? I didn't quite catch that." Marik is so cruel.

"Yes," I said louder but still relucantly.

"'Yes' what?" That merciless-!

"Yes... I want... the chicken." You can hear how much it hurts to say this. Hurts my pride at least.

"That's not what I want to hear." What?

The confusion must have showed on my face because Marik elaborated, "You have to say 'Yes, Fluffy wants chicken.' Then you get chicken."

No words can describe how much I hate him right now.

"Fine," No! Bad mouth! Stop saying that! "F-Fluffy... wants chicken." After this is over I'm going to have to go find a hole to crawl in and die in.

Marik on the other hand, looks as happy as a small child on Christmas.

"Was that so hard?'' Marik said while handing me the chicken.

Marik's POV

Yes! I got Fluffy to call himself Fluffy!

And judging by the way Ryou looks like he's in love with that sandwich, it wouldn't be to hard to make him call himself his new name Lil' Fluff.

I'm so creative with names aren't I?

So all it takes to make them like putty in my hand is to bring food? I wonder what will happen when it's dessert time.

None of my food can compare with my dessert dishes.

Heh heh, one day I shall rule the world with my pastries!

TBC

Translations

_Quiero comer la torta-_ I want to eat the sandwich

_Por favor-_ Please.


	7. Chapter 7

Ryou's POV

Yay for Saturdays! This is, without a doubt, the best day of the week.

Anybody who says otherwise is a dirty liar. Or a teacher.

Not to offend anybody who likes another day better but... Saturdays are the best.

And that's that.

Why is the walk to the park always so long? At least I can see the playground now. And Marik is being chased by Bakura. After being called Fluffy for so long he finally snapped. Why couldn't he have lost it when I was around to watch it? This has got to be hilarious! I better get over there or I'll miss all of it!

Bakura's POV

(**A few minutes earlier)**

"What should we do today Fluffy?" Marik asked me while we wait for Ryou to show up.

My eye twitched and I shouted, "Stop calling me that!"

"No back-sassing!" Marik pulled out a small squirt gun from his pocket and started squirting water at me.

"Ack! Marik! What on earth are you doing?" I tried to shield my face.

"This is how you teach kitties to not do bad things! At least that's what the internet told me. And it hasn't been wrong yet!" Marik shouted as he continued to squirt me. Why would he bring a tiny squirt gun? He is such a-a-a... There are no longer any words to describe my anger towards him! Must use violence instead...

I tried to grab the squirt gun but Marik jumped out of the way.

"Tsk, tsk, tsk," Marik scolded and squirted me a few more times. "There, I think you learned your lesson."

I growled.

"Ah, ah, ah..." Marik threatened with his squirt gun again. My eye twitched. He's gonna get it today...

Marik's POV

I found this new way to train kitties. So I thought I'd try it on Fluffy.

He doesn't like the water very much... this only adds to my evidence that he is a real kitty. Or part kitty. It's not important, I'll figure out the details later.

Uh oh. I think I'm out of water...

I think Fluffy noticed.

Run!

Ryou's POV

(**present time**)

Bakura looks ready to kill. Thank goodness he's after Marik and not me.

Oh no! Bakura caught him! Then Marik tripped. Now their on the ground. Bakura ripped a... squirt gun... from Marik's hand. That explains it. Marik was probably squirting Bakura. But even an idiot could've figured that out. I am such an amazing detective! No sarcasm.

_"__¿__Qué es el problema?_" I asked my quarreling friends.

_ "_Oh lookie! Ryou's finally here!" Marik excitedly declared. Bakura looked over at me, snapped Marik's squirt gun in half and dropped the pieces on Marik's face.

"MY EYES!" Marik screamed clutching his face. But Bakura didn't drop it near his eyes...

Bakura rolled his eyes and stood up. After Marik realized nobody was buying his melodramatic performance he stopped and stood up.

"Ahem, as I was saying before I was rudely interrupted," Marik glanced at Bakura. "(Cough)Bakura(Cough Cough)... What should we do today?"

Marik looked at us, we looked at him. Nobody said anything. Neither of Bakura or I really had an idea of what to do.

"I have an idea!" Marik exclaimed. This should be interesting.

"I'm going to regret asking," Bakura sighed. "But what's your idea?"

"You know what? Just for that reaction, you have to guess first. I'm not gonna tell you"

Bakura crossed his arms and glared at Marik. "If you don't want to tell me, I'm not gonna guess."

"If you guess Ryou will too!" Marik turned to me. "Now start guessing you two." Why do I have to guess just because Bakura won't? That's messed up logic. But one of the most rational things to ever come from Marik.

"To beat up nerds who spend their time alone in a park?" Bakura said but Marik shook his head.

"_¿__Come chicharrones?" _I said. I seriously had no idea what else to say.

"Why would you go to a park to do that?" Marik said to me. "Then you'd have to share with everybody else!"

_"¡LoterÍa!_ " I exclaimed.

"How on Earth would we play that in a park?" Marik asked rhetorically.

I shrugged.

"Come on!" Marik sighed. "Why do people go to the park?" He looked at us expectantly.

"To vandalize the equipment?" Bakura offered.

"¿_Jugar?" _I said.

"To plot vandalism?"

"Close but not quite my fluffy little friends."

I thought for a moment... Why **do** people go to parks after age 7? Hmmm... I got it!

"_¿__Pasear?"_

"Bingo!" Marik shouted.

"_Pero dijo que no fue LoterÍa." _

_ "_What does that mean?" Bakura asked.

Marik grabbed both our arms and started walking/pulling us down a path. "It means we're going for a walk!"

"_Más similar caminamos con un perro" _I muttered under my breath as Marik dragged us down a path.

"I heard that Lil' Fluff!" Marik shouted at me. When Bakura snickered he turned to him and said in the most serious voice Marik is capable of. "Watch it Fluffy."

Bakura just rolled his eyes. Marik jerked his arm. "Ouch!"

TBC

**Translations**

_¿__Qué es el problema?- _What's the problem?

_Come chicharrones- _To eat pork rinds

_¡LoterÍa!-_ Bingo!

_Jugar- _ To play

_Pasear- _To go for a walk

_Pero dijo que no fue LoterÍa- _But you said it wasn't bingo.

_Más similar caminamos con un perro- More like walking a dog._


	8. Chapter 8

** Bakura's POV**

Marik grabbed both our arms and started walking/pulling Ryou and I down a path. "It means we're going for a walk!"

A walk? "A walk? Really Marik? That's all you could think of? Marik, shame on you. I expected more."

"What did I tell you about back-sassing?" Marik screamed let go of our arms and pulled out another squirt gun. A second squirt gun? The first one was annoying enough! That stupid genius! This squirt gun must meet the same fate as the first. I shall see to it...

Marik squirted more water on me. Ryou giggled. I narrowed my eyes. He'll get what's coming to him too. They all will. But first that accursed squirt gun...

I lunged for it but Marik, dare I say gracefully, dodged and kept squirting me. Ryou burst out into laughter.

"Hey!" Marik scolded Ryou. "No laughing at others misfortune!" Marik squirted Ryou a few times. Each time the water hit Ryou, Ryou would let out a slightly girlish 'eep!', which obviously made me laugh. I mean, Ryou sounded ridiculous! At least I didn't **squeak** when I got squirted.

"Fluffy! Didn't you just hear what I told Ryou?" Marik aimed the toy at me. "No laughing at others misfortune!"

"Don't make me break that one too Marik." I threatened threateningly.

"Don't make me squirt you on your pants so you look like you peed yourself!"

Of course both of us would follow through on our threats, but I wouldn't put it past Marik to hide a third squirt gun on his person. If he did have a third then there isn't anyway I could avoid it. Marik's eyes darted between me and Ryou and seeing he was outnumbered by the two fluffy, white-haired boys, he turned and sprinted down the path.

"You won't get away that easily." I smirked. I've caught him before and I can catch him again! 'Then I will smash that toy,' I thought. 'break it into hundreds of tiny little pieces, smash them into the ground, set them on fire... ' my thoughts drifted off into my gruesome plans for the poor, unfortunate little squirt gun.

**Marik's POV**

Fluffy has turned on me! How could he?

I trusted him... I'm so heart broken I might cry.

Okay, so it's not like I didn't see this coming, but betraying me wasn't even his most terrible action.

He threatened Squirty the second! That is the unforgivable crime!

I did the only thing I could do. I retreate- no, I didn't do that. I simply advanced backwards. Yeah, that's exactly what I did, erm, am doing.

And no, I'm not scared. How could anybody be scared of Bakura? He's far to fluffy to be threatening. No, I'm looking out for Squirty the second. He has a wife and three kids to look after! I assume. I mean, it's not like I spend my free time pondering the love lives of my squirt guns.

It's just that I can't let Fluffy hurt him like he hurt Squirty the first. I won't let him!

Must keep running!

Running running running!

Wow this path is long...

My legs are getting tired...

Oh look! A vending machine! I need soda to refuel. I'm sure Fluffy won't mind me stopping. I'll get him a soda as a peace offering.

**Bakura's POV**

Looks like Marik stopped running. When I caught up with him I asked, "Why did you stop?"

"Because, running is stupid." He said like it was the most obvious thing in the world. "How 'bout I buy you a soda and you stop chasing me?" Marik motioned to the soda machine a little bit away from us.

"Fine, you give me a soda and keep that toy away from me and I'll** try **not to hurt you." I told him as I tried to catch my breath from all the running but the threat still clear in my tone.

"Oh look! Ryou's coming." Marik pointed to a Ryou who was running down the path towards us. "I'll get him a soda too." Marik walked to the soda machine.

And of course he didn't even notice my threat. I'll just take the toy later when he isn't looking.

When Ryou finally came to where I am he was breathing sorta heavily. I turned to him and said, "Remind me why we're doing this again." I guess I can't really get an answer. Or at least answer in a was I can understand. You know what? I don't care. I can talk to whoever I want and nothing as silly as a measly language barrier is going to stop me! I laugh in the face of it! Unfortunately, because Ryou was the one standing in front of me I was kinda laughing in his face.

He looked at me like it was weird I was laughing in his face for no reason.

"¿_Pasear un rato con los amigos?" _Ryou responded looking at me oddly. What the heck does that mean? Well, some Spanish words sound like their English meaning... I'll decipher it! That'll teach the stupid language whose boss.

If your wondering, I'm boss.

Anyways back to what Ryou was saying. Pasear. Hmmm... sounds kinda like pass. I'm gonna go with 'pass'. Next words: 'un rato'... well 'un' obviously means a, and 'rato'... sounds like rat. Ew. Why on earth would Ryou be talking about rats?

'Con'. Uhhh...Well that's a word I have no idea about. I'll just leave it out. I doubt it's that important.

I haven't even ever taken anything remotely resembling a Spanish class (unless you count the old crazy guy on the bus who yells Spanish cuss words) and I know that 'los amigos' means friends.

So time to put it all together. Pass... a rat... with friends... Wait what?

** Ryou's POV**

"Why on earth would you want to pass a rat with friends you sicko!" Bakura shouted at me.

How did he get that from what I said?

It- I only said... Never mind. I'm going to laugh. I may get beaten up but the opportunity is to great to pass up. So I did laugh.

I laughed right in Bakura's face.

And man, did he get angry quick.

**Bakura's POV**

How dare that pipsqueak laugh at me?

"Why don't you shut your face you mini, weak nerd!" Maybe not my best insult but I'm kinda mad right now. I took a serious blow to my pride. I don't know if I'll survive... hate is the only thing keeping me going.

"_¡__Kieta el stupido elephante!" _Ryou shouted at me. I caught stupid and elephant. I narrowed my eyes. How dare he make fun of elephants!

"You're dumb!" I yelled back.

"_¡__El burro sabe masque tu!" _Ryou retorted.

"I can't understand you!" I yelled in frustration.

"_¡__Tonta!" _Ryou shouted back seemingly as frustrated as me.

TBC

Translations

_¿Pasear un rato con los amigos?- _To spend time with friends

_¡__Kieta el stupido elephante!- _Shut up you stupid elephant!

_¡__El burro sabe masque tu!- _The donkey knows more than you!

_¡__Tonta!_- Fool!


	9. Chapter 9

**Marik's POV**

I am outraged!

Not only did that dastardly soda machine eat my dollar (for which I gave it a kick that it won't soon forget), I only ended up getting two sodas, but on top of it all, I leave my kitties alone for a few minutes and they got all territorial and started fighting! I am feeling outrage of the highest order!

I'm shocked at Ryou's vulgar language! I should have never taught him how to say those words! I never expected he would use them for evil!

"Fluffies! Stop fighting or nobody gets any soda!" I shout at them.

The kitties, also known as Ryou and Bakura, stop arguing long enough to notice the sodas in my hands. I tossed one to Bakura and one to Ryou. "Now stop fighting! The soda commands you!"

I hope those sodas got shook up.

That'll teach them! Muahaha!

Wait, now **I **have no soda.

I didn't think this through all the way.

**Bakura's POV**

Cool, free soda!

"_Gracias."_ Ryou thanks him after he barely manages to catch the soda Marik threw to him.

What a kiss up! Gasp! That must be why he got the grape soda while I have this dumb orange soda. Everybody knows grape is better than orange soda. I'll just take it while he isn't looking! Ryou will never see it coming!

Marik looks like he suddenly thought of something he forgot. He looks worried.

"Ryou!" Marik began frantically. _"¿Dónde está Waldo?_"

"Erm..._¿Canadá ?" _Ryou suggested.

"_¡No digas eso!" _

"_Es la verdad." _Ryou said solemly.

"Noooo!" Marik dramatically fell to his knees and shouted upward towards the heavens.

"What are you crying about now Marik?" I ask annoying but slightly disturbed by the way those two are acting.

"The Canadians have captured Waldo! I have to go rescue him!" Marik jumped up and charged down the path until he was out of sight.

Ryou and I stood in silence for a moment when I decided that this would be the perfect opportunity to take what belongs to me: the grape soda. I sneakily reach down to the soda resting in Ryou's hand at his side. I grip it Ryou notices and jerks his hand away. I won't be defeated this easily!

"Give it." I say calmly.

" _No, es mi el refresco."_ Ryou said stubbornly.

"I don't know what the heck you're saying but I do know that that soda belongs to me now." I pointed to the soda in Ryou's hand.

Ryou struck a ninja pose and lifted his hand, using two fingers to motion 'come and get me'.

The kid's growing a backbone. All the more fun for me.

**Ryou's POV **

He isn't taking my soda. Not if I have any say in it!

Bakura lunged at me in an attempt to tackle me to the ground but I managed to dodge just in time so Bakura fell and landed on his belly in a cloud of dust. I used this as an opportunity and jump-tackled him, landing on his back with an 'oomph'.

Bakura started to growl and before I could do anything Bakura rolled over so I was pinned under him. He pulled back his fist preparing to punch me in the face. I flinched and used my arms to shield my face.

Suddenly all of Bakura's weight disappeared. I opened my eyes to see him gone. I sat up and looked around. Bakura's running away.

I must have scared him... no that's not it. Not that I'm not intimidating! I totally am! But... that isn't why he ran...

When I realized why my jaw dropped. So many emotions being felt at once. Anger, sadness, embarrassment...

That jerk stole my soda!

He isn't gonna get away with this! Or that, I guess if you're talking about the soda itself and not just the act of stealing the soda... Stop getting sidetracked! I sprinted off full speed after Bakura. Dare I say I'm faster than he is! I'm catching up pretty quick!

Bakura was to caught up trying to run without shaking up the soda to notice me coming. You know, it's not even about the soda for me, I actually don't even like grape soda. It's just the principal. I can't let Bakura push me around! So next time the opportunity comes up, I'm going to shove his face in the dirt. Maybe not, I don't really have a death wish... but... hmmm... I'll see what I feel like when that moment comes.

I'm really close to Bakura! So close I jump onto his back which startles him so much he drops the soda. Bakura's pretty mad, to bad he can't really reach me while I'm on his back. I give him a B for effort but it's kinda sad while he's flailing around trying to hit my head he isn't attacking my leg that are wrapped around his waist.

Uh oh, I think Bakura's losing his balance!

THUD

Ow-wee! Bakura fell backwards and landed on me!

I have a suspicion he did that on purpose.

I reached over and grabbed the soda responsible for all this at the same time Bakura did. The tug-of-war begins.

"Fluffies!" Marik's voice interrupts our brawl (if you can call it that). "What? I cannot even leave on a rescue mission without you two fighting? With actual violence this time! Does the commands of the soda mean nothing to you?"

Bakura looked up at Marik. "So, did you find Waldo?"

Marik shook his head sadly. "I couldn't find Canada. But I did find a Canadian! When I confronted him about Waldo he started playing dumb and acted like he didn't know anything."

Bakura blinked a couple times. "Alright then." With that he turned his attention back to the soda and we began to fight our battle for it again.

Marik let out a loud sigh then stomped over to us. The grabbed the soda and threw it behind him with all his might. "If you're gonna fight over it so much nobody gets it!" Marik began what I could tell would be a very, very, very, very, very long lecture. "You two are brothers in fluffyness! You need to work out your issues and use peace and kindness to-" Marik was cut off by an old woman yelling.

"Hey! Young lady in the purple! How dare you throw this soda at me? You need to learn your manners!"

Marik whipped around. "Yo! Old hag! How dare you call me a young lady! You think you're tough or that I'm above hitting old ladies? I think not!" Marik yelled while stomping his way to the old lady.

**LATER**

Marik was sporting a black eye, a split lip, and several bruises. We put the somewhat cool sodas on his injuries.

"Marik, you really should learn to pick your fights better." Bakura was telling Marik while we sat on a familiar park bench.

"How was I supposed to know she was a nun? Or that her purse has the equivalent of three bricks in it?"

"First off, you could tell she was a nun just by looking at her! You know, nuns are the ones dressed like penguins?"

"Oh yeah..."

Bakura sighed. "Marik, just go home and get your wounds properly treated. I'm going home." Bakura stood up and left.

Marik kept his eyes on Bakura until he was out of sight and earshot. "Okay Ryou, it's safe, you can talk now."

"So Marik, are you sure you're okay?" I ask.

Marik sighed and looked upwards. "Yes! I'm fine! Jeez!"

I worked up the nerve to ask him something that's been bugging me for a while. "Hey Marik..."

Marik turned to face me. "Yeah? What's up?"

"Maybe... you know," I began. "Maybe we should tell Bakura about me speaking Spanish. Or not speaking Spanish I guess."

"Fine go ahead and tell him, but it has to be you. He won't believe me if I tell him."

I started to panic. What if he gets mad? "What? How will I do that? I mean, Bakura hates it when we pull regular pranks on him! How would he react if he found out I did this?"

"I'm not sure." Marik put his finger on his chin while he thought and looked off into the distance. "He might be mad, he might laugh it off, or he might spontaneously combust."

"That still doesn't tell me how I'm supposed to tell him!"

Marik looked at me. "All I can do is offer you is wise words I've been told before: In the future, forwards is a myth." Marik stood up and started running down the path. "Well gotta go! See ya Ryou!"

I sat there confused for a while before I decided I could be just as confused at home where it's also warm. As I was walking I got within ear shot of a man talking loudly on his cell phone.

"So I'm just standing there talking to Jasper," The man was saying. Very loudly. Very obnoxiously. In a very thick Canadian accent. "When this weird guy in purple comes up to me and starts shouting 'What did you do with him?'. So I'm like 'Who?' and he's like 'Waldo! I know you have him!'. So I said to him 'I don't know what you're talking about.' and he screamed 'Liar!' then kicked me in the shin and ran away."

**Translations**

_Gracias- _Thank you

_¿Dónde está Waldo?-_ Where's Waldo?

_Canadá- _Canada

_No digas eso- _Don't say that

_Es la verdad- _It's the truth

_No, es mi el refresco-_ No it's my soft drink

About the Canada and Waldo thing, if you look on Google earth you can find a building in Canada with Waldo's face painted on it. So it's like a giant 'where's Waldo' and Waldo is in Canada.


	10. Chapter 10

**Ryou's POV**

I'm a little worried about going to the park today, with it being April first and all.

I'm fearing for my life and the color of my hair right now.

When I get to the park I see Bakura reading some piece of paper looking a little confused. Marik is nowhere in sight. This deeply worries me.

I reached Bakura and he throws the note to the ground angrily. Of course being paper it gently drifts to the ground comically.

"Where is that idiot hiding? I know he's here somewhere!" Bakura started searching behind the tree and in bushes angrily.

I wonder what got him so worked up. I pick up the note obviously, it's from Marik. The little doodle of a chibi Marik showing his midriff is a dead giveaway.

**'**Dear kitties,

I have decided to fulfill my dream of joining the circus. Don't wait for me. I am totally not lying here. Seriously. I'm gone. That means don't look for me Bakura! Stop thinking about searching for me.

Also be nice to each other. Or you shall face the vengeance of the smexiest being in the universe! Guardian chibi Marik! He will smite you with his tiny sword!

Sincerely, Marik**'**

Looking at the back again, I notice the chibi does have a tiny sword. Not only tiny to my standards, tiny to chibi standards. It's like a tiny knife in his tiny chibi hands. But about the actual contents of the note I can only conclude that it defiantly means Marik is in the park waiting to pull a prank on us... I wonder, is he being this obvious on purpose or did he really think this would fool us?

"Marik! Come out here right now! I mean it!" Bakura yelled while searching the nearby jungle gym. After finding nothing on the slide or in the tunnel he walked over to the bench and plopped down. "Fine! Hide if you want! I won't humor you anymore." Bakura folded his arms and made a face that one could call pouting. Not out loud though, if one wished to live with an unscathed face, of course.

In a flash, Marik swung down from the tree above by his knees and hung upside down while he began squirting Bakura with a familiar squirt gun filled with something purple that I can only assume is dye.

"Gaaah! Marik! What are you doing?" Bakura shouted trying to shield as much of his face as possible from Marik's onslaught with the colorful liquid.

"April Fool's! It's called a prank Fluffy!" Marik cheerfully replied. I could see he was running low on ammo. This should be interesting. "You should have seen this coming! The note was obviously a fake. You know my dream is to join the Blue Man Group!"

Marik continued pulling the trigger of his toy until the flow slowed and eventually stopped. He was still pulling the trigger after dye ceased to come out, Bakura slowly stood and walked closer to Marik. I've never seen a more lovely combination of purple of Bakura's hair and the shade of red his face was becoming.

But even more odd was what Marik was wearing. He was dressed head to toe in a bright blue and had his face and hair the same shade as his clothes... I assume it's some sort of camouflage, but you think blue would be noticeable in a tree! Which makes me wonder how Bakura and I missed him.

Bakura swiped the squirt gun from Marik's hand with incredible speed. Marik put his hands up. "Put Squirty the second down Bakura."

"No! I've had enough of you and your stupid toys!" Bakura said. "I'll smash this thing into a hundred pieces before I give it back to you!" Bakura raised the gun and prepared to throw it to the ground.

"Fine," Marik yawned loudly and stretched his arms. "If you want to."

Bakura's expression turned from furious to confused. "So you don't care about Squirty the second anymore?"

"Heck no!" Marik exclaimed with exaggerated arm movements. "I found out he cheated on his wife! Can you even begin to understand how traumatizing that must be for his kids?"

This made Bakura's expression go from confused to a look of 'how is anybody this stupid?'.

"Marik, it's a squirt gun. It's a toy."

"That doesn't mean he can't love!" Marik retorted.

"Yeah, it kinda does."

"Nu-uh." Marik reached into his pocket and pulled out a picture of of three squirt guns. One in a tiny groom's tux, one in a mini bride's wedding dress, and one behind them dressed as a priest. "See! This is a picture of Squirty the second's wedding."

"Then how'd they get kids?" Bakura asked incredulously.

Marik sighed and walked over to me while explaining. "You see, when a mommy squirt gun and a daddy squirt gun love each other very much-" Marik put his hands over my ears, like one would to a small child to stop them from hearing a dirty joke, so the rest of whatever he was saying was cut off.

Judging by Bakura's facial reactions, it wasn't something I want to hear. Bakura's face switched comically back and forth from disgusted and laughing out loud before settling on revolted and looking like he was about to vomit.

Bakura looked down at the squirt gun in his hands with a horrified expression and the toy fell out of his hands. Bakura continued to stare at his hands while he began to tremble. His face wasn't red anymore, now it's green. Bakura speed off towards the nearest garbage can and when Marik took his hands off my ears I could hear the sounds of Bakura throwing up his lunch.

I stared wide eyed at Bakura then turned to Marik about to inquire what he said when I closed my jaw realizing, if it was that bad to Bakura, I would probably be scarred for life.

Bakura straightened from is bent over position at the garbage can, wiped off his mouth, turned around and walked back over to us.

"Marik,"

"Yes?"

"You need serious help."

"No need to be so mean Fluffy."

"I'm going to hit you over the head with a brick."

"But wouldn't that hurt?"

**Bakura's POV**

I'm going to hurt him. He will feel extreme pain.

What kind of demented person could think of anything like that about squirt guns?

With no bricks in sight, I reach down a scoop up a handful of dirt.

"Taste the wrath of my dirt!"

"What did I do to cause the dirt wrath?"

With all my might I throw the handful of dirt, pebbles, twigs, and other things found on the ground at parks at Marik. Unfortunately I forgot about Ryou in my anger and didn't realize he was in the crossfire until it was to late. The make-shift ammo pelted Ryou square in the face.

Ryou fell to his knees clutching his face and suppressing a scream into a groan.

I didn't mean for that to happen!

Marik and I were instantly at Ryou's side trying to help. But why did I have to go and do that? I'm such an idiot!

"Bakura," Marik said quietly. "Maybe you should go for a walk to cool down." There was no room for argument in his tone. I stood up, shoved my hands in my pockets and sulked off.

**Marik's POV**

"'Kura is gone, you can talk. Are you okay?" I ask him.

"I just got pelted in the face how do you think I feel?" Ryou hisses at me vehemently. Lil' Fluff is in a sour mood.

"If I knew I wouldn't be asking you." Do I really need to state the obvious so much?

Ryou said nothing but instead crossed his arms and looked in the other direction angrily. It's like having to deal with two Bakuras!

"Now you're only being grumpy."

Ryou continued to pouted.

Mental sigh, this might take longer than I thought. I know exactly what to do! I move so I'm face to face with Ryou and move so close to him our noses are almost touching.

Now that I know I have his attention...

"Did ya poop?"

"What?" Ryou splutters.

"Everybody in the world who is grumpy just needs to poop." I tell him. "So did ya poop?"

"...No..." Ryou responds.

"Then go to the bathroom, come back, and tell me how you feel." I order.

**5 minutes later**

Ryou is coming back and I look at him with an incredibly derpy grin. Ryou started laughing when he saw my expression.

"See, now you're a happy camper!"

**Ryou's POV**

As stupid as Marik is sometimes, I have to admit he's pretty good at cheering people up.

I see Bakura is coming back. Marik notices too. Marik runs up to Bakura and grasps Bakura's hand. "Good luck my friend." Then proceeded to drop Bakura's hand and crab walk into a nearby bush out of sight.

Bakura looked at his hand and saw a note Marik had secretly given him. Marik's lavender eyes peeked through and was intently starting at Bakura's face for reactions.

Bakura shakes his head in exasperation but unfolds the note regardless. His eyes widen and I'm dying from curiosity wondering what it says. Bakura walks over to me and says. "You have something to tell me?"

I decide I hate Marik at this moment. Well, it had to happen eventually. I nod my head.

Pause.

Then...

"_¡__Feliz primero de abril!" _I shout.

"Ah!" Bakura jumps in surprise from my shouting. "What does that mean?"

"It means I knew how to speak English this whole time." I smile as I speak my first English sentence to Bakura. "April Fool's! I got you!"

**TBC**

**Translation**

_¡__Feliz primero de abril!-_ Happy April first!


	11. Chapter 11

**Ryou's POV**

"Come again?" Bakura asked skeptically.

This may be harder than I thought. Let's try a... slower approach.

"It. Means," I emphasize every word as if talking to a small child. "I. Speak. English."

Bakura looked at the bush Marik had hidden in. "Marik! Is this your real April Fool's joke?" He yelled.

Marik popped out of a bush on the path opposite of the place Bakura was looking. "Of course not! But that would have been an amazing prank..."

"Uh, Marik? That **was** your prank." I said as Marik walked over to us. How did he get on the other side of the path...?

Marik froze in his tracks and gasped. "Really? I'm a genius!"

In a flash Bakura kicked Marik's legs which, knocking him off his feet, sent Marik face first into the ground with a sharp yelp of 'mommy!'.

"Idiot!" Bakura shook his head.

I froze in fear, wondering if I'm next. Bakura faced me and I thought about what would happen if I tried to run. I would probably fall on my face. I think I should go out with my pride intact. But that may mean I'll go out **without** my face intact. I'm too pretty for that to happen!

"What do you have to say for yourself?" Bakura asked me.

Oops. Too late to run. Okay new plan: talk my way out of this.

"Erm..." Brilliant Ryou. Truly, sarcastically brilliant.

"Ryou!" Marik interjected. "Fake an injury!"

I sent him an odd look. Marik sat up and Bakura kicked him in the stomach. "Ouchiez!" Marik rolled around on the ground making over dramatic noises that suggest he is in pain.

"Now then, back to things that matter. Why did you pretend to speak Spanish?"

I shrug, "It seemed like the right thing to do at the time."

Bakura turned an accusatory glare to Marik, "Why did you go along with it?"

Marik mimicked Ryou's action and tone of voice on the ground, "It seemed like the right thing to do at the time."

Bakura face palmed. "Have I ever told you how much I despise you?"

"Several times." Marik said in a chipper voice. Bakura kicked Marik in the stomach again.

"You don't understand how long I've waited to do that."

"Bad Fluffy! How dare you turn against me?"

"Stop calling me Fluffy!"

"Oh, I get it. You don't wanna be a kitty. I guess you're more of a poodle anyways."

"You did not just say that."

"I just said that." Marik said seriously.

Bakura looks mad. I wonder if he's going to combust like Marik predicted. From Bakura's facial expression it's a possibility.

"Hey you know something I just remembered?" Marik began. This can't end well. "'Buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo.' is a grammatically correct sentence."

"What does that have to do with anything?" I looked down at him confusedly.

Marik shrugged, "I remembered it and I wanted to say it before I forgot again." Bakura kicked Marik hard in the stomach for the, I think, third time. "Ow! I'm going to pass out now." And pass out Marik did. His eyes rolled back and his head plopped to the dusty ground.

I would be scared that he was dead, but then he started to snore. "That actually happens when somebody gets knocked out?" I exclaim.

"Yep." Bakura nods.

"Cool!" I pause as that triggers another thought. "I wonder if it's the same for people who fart in their sleep."

We both go silent for a minute while watching Marik. Not in a pedo way either, more like... scientists curiously studying a new specimen.

After a little bit Bakura spoke up, "If he does, I don't really want to find out."

….

"Agreed."

With that we both walked down the path leaving the unconscious Marik alone. Unconscious. In the park. Unprotected.

And we are perfectly fine with that.

**Marik's POV**

_~Dream sequence~_

_There's snow everywhere! It's piled up super high on the sides of the roads. I'm walking down the road, wearing no snow gear whatsoever might I add but I'm not cold, and on my right is Fluffy. Fluffy is wearing a pair of skis and is just standing there doing no work but he is still moving. _

_No fair! _

_I'm running as fast as I can to keep up but he's just standing there! What a jerk!_

_We reach the end of this road. And there's the park! But the road between us is full of snow forts. Fluffy (whose skis just disappeared) and I rush over to them. We crouch down and prepare for an assault. Paying no mind that this is a normally busy highway. We know what we must do. To get to the park and sled on the awesome hill we must first fight our way through this battlefield._

_A battlefield where the ammo, instead of snowballs, is stereos playing show tunes. _

_There was a battle but it was kinda a blur. These fight sequences always are like that._

**Bakura's POV**

"Hey Ryou," I say to him while we're walking down the path to the end of the park.

"Yeah?" He responds.

"You aren't allowed to speak Spanish anymore."

"What? Why not? Pride still hurt from the prank?"

This kid is growing a backbone. "No, I just said you can't. So you can't"

"¡_No te preocupes! No hablo español contigo." _

I don't know what he just said but I know that he's doing this just to be cheeky. I calmly whack Ryou on the back of the head. "So you think you're a wise guy, eh?"

"Who says wise guy anymore?"

"The guy who's going to keep hitting you if you keep talking in Spanish." I threaten.

"¿_Cuando?_"

I whack him on the head again.

"¿_Ahora mismo?" _Whack! "_¡Ahora mismo! Ahora Mismo!"_ Whack. Ryou growls in frustration. Aw how cute, he thinks he threatening.

"_¡Deje un mensaje después del tono!" _Ryou shouts at me. I look at him for a moment while he cools down. When he seems calm again, with a neutral expression I proceed to whack him upside the head again.

In the most mature act ever (coughsarcasmcoughcough). Ryou sits down cross legged, folds his arms, and pouts while looking away.

Oh so he thinks he can act like all adorable and cute-small-animal-like and I'll do what he wants? It may work on Marik but not on me! I'll show him whose more childis- I mean manly. I totally meant manly. I'll show him whose more mature and whatnot!

I just keep walking down the path and go home. Sooner or later Ryou will too.

**Marik's POV**

(A while later!)

Ermghflem... My tummy hurts.

Everything starts coming back to me. Fluffy! How could he?

Well I guess with his foot...

It's starting to get dark out. The kitties probably went to their little cat caves. It's like bat cave but the cat went in and... ate the bats, so now it belongs to the cat. Then a second cat went into another bat cave and ate those bats so now Ryou and Bakura have nice warm beds to sleep in.

**TBC**

**Translations**

¡_No te preocupes! No hablo español contigo- _Don't worry. I won't speak Spanish with you.

¿_Cuando?- _When?

_Ahora mismo- _Right now

_Deje un mensaje después del tono- _Leave a message after the tone.


	12. Chapter 12

**Ryou's POV**

The first time going to the park without having to pretend to be a different nationality.

I hope it won't be to boring.

Oh who am I trying to kid? With Marik and Bakura, I somehow doubt boring could ever happen. Even if we want it to. Marik's idea of boring would probably be something like him sitting in the stereotypical fancy-pants living room. You know the one, a fire place, big, old, red armchair, him sitting in it in a red robe, with one of those old smoke pipe things, and with a cat on his lap whilst he reads the newspaper. The cat would probably be Bakura.

That's probably the closest he could get to boring.

In a moment of nostalgia, I decide to walk past the tree Bakura chased me up when I stole his shoe. I stop and look up at the tree. After a few minutes staring at it I decide something. I'm going to climb this tree.

I scale the tree in a matter of seconds. I just went all ninja on it.

I'm a lot higher up now than the first time, and with no shoe to provide my inevitable downfall I can actually get a good look at the park from this angle. I move some branches out of the way and gaze across the park. I can see the jungle gym, the baseball diamond, the vending machines, trees, Marik wearing a lampshade on his head, kids playing tag, the volleyball court...

I sigh peacefully. So many things. I should probably see what Marik is doing before he finds some way to electrocute himself. I see no wires... but if anybody could pull it off, it's Marik.

I start to climb down the tree. But I lost my footing halfway through and landed with a thud on my butt. That was so not ninja. Pretty sure nobody saw it, so I'm good. I'm more than good. I'm awesome. And there are no witnesses to prove otherwise.

I jog over to where Marik is. Not only is he wearing a lampshade on his head, but the lampshade is covered in stickers. Sparkly stickers. Sparkly pony stickers.

Oh Marik... Que headdesk.

"Marik? What are you-" I began before Marik cut me off.

"Ryou! Shh! Someone might see through my camouflage!" Marik whispered at me.

"What are you-" I tried to ask again before Marik cut me off. Again. Will my question never be asked?

"Quick, behind the bush!" Marik grabbed my arm and forcibly pulled me behind the nearby bush. When Marik let go the momentum made me fall right on my butt. My poor booty. So much abuse in such a short span of time.

Marik crouched and looked around as if an enemy could be spying on us. But in Marik's world, that's very possible. The toddler on the see-saw's left shoe is probably worst his enemy.

I have a feeling if I came to an all out battle between Marik and that size 5 shoe, the shoe would emerge victorious. Shoe. Singular.

I gaze at Marik from the corner of my eyes, then at the toddler's shoe.

Yeah the shoe.

I glance at Marik again.

Hands down.

"Marik, why did you-" I started before I was, yet again, cut off.

"Give me your socks." Marik ordered already reaching for my feet.

"Say what now?" I am shocked to say the least. Out of everything, this is the last thing I expected. Maybe not the last. The last thing would be something like 'I was born in Canada'. Which in itself is ridiculous. After the whole Waldo thing, even if he was Canadian he would deny every bit of his heritage. "Why do you need my socks?"

"Because my dog left a potato on the stairs, I stepped in it so sadly, my socks cannot participate in this scheme."

"Don't you have more than one pair?" I asked struggling as Marik forcibly removed my shoes.

"Those won't work."

"Why not?"

Marik paused. "We don't have time for this! If you won't give-" Marik pulled off both my socks at once mid-sentence and grinned. "Never mind."

"Marik what-" I tried to say but he cut me off again. Why won't he stop doing that? It's becoming very frustrating!

"Shh," Marik held one of his fingers in front of his mouth to signal silence. As if I couldn't understand by words alone he wants me to be quiet. "Something Fluffy this way comes."

And wouldn't you know it, it was Bakura walking down the path. He stopped and stared at the lampshade Marik had left on the bench.

When did Marik take that off anyways?

In a swift motion, Marik grabbed my socks, leaped up, and threw them at Bakura. Bakura himself, of course, didn't notice until it was to late and he had a face full of dirty laundry.

**Marik's POV**

Yes!

Right in the face!

Ah, the sweet smell of victory.

And based on what I know Bakura is smelling, defeat must smell like Ryou's feet.

It sorta rhymes. Meh, I need something weirder that rhymes. Maybe... nah, this is no time for poetry! I must defuse a possibly deadly situation!

Sigh.

Such temperamental kitties I have.

Always getting angry over nothing.

**Bakura's POV**

I was walking, I see a lampshade sitting on a bench, then get a face full of smelly footwear.

This has Marik written all over it.

"Marik!" I shout while ripping the socks off my face and tearing them to shreds. I vaguely take note of Ryou making a noise of protest. "Why? That's all I can ask! Why?"

Marik shrugged. Ryou spoke up. "Marik, what is wrong with you today?"

Marik tilted his head in thought before speaking, "Well-"

-"I mean, not that something is wrong with you everyday, there defiantly is don't get me wrong, but you seem especially... odd today." Ryou cut Marik off looking very pleased with himself. I wonder what Marik did that would make cutting him off a huge achievement for Ryou.

It didn't phase Marik in the slightest, which seemed to take away some of Ryou little satisfaction. Marik began speaking, "I didn't get my Flintstones vitamin!" Marik's expression turned sour as he pouted. "All because of that accursed child-proof cap!"

Ryou and I sighed in unison.

Just then, a red rubber ball came flying out of nowhere and hit Ryou square in the face, with that delightful sound rubber makes when it does indeed hit somebody square between the eyes might I add, sending him crashing to the ground. The ball bounced off him and rolled to Marik's feet, all of it's momentum lost.

Marik picks up the ball with a childish fascination like it didn't just attack his friend. "Oh lookie! I guess it must me mine!"

I though about that for a second. Doesn't make sense. "How do you figure that?" I ask, half talking to him, half watching Ryou recover. Ryou has the most wonderful red circle on his face now. Ah that takes me back to simpler times, back when the dodge balls in gym class were rubber.

"You that old saying, 'If you love something set it free, and if it comes back to you, it is yours'." Marik quoted motioning to the ball. "Well, it came back to me! So it must belong to me."

"But you never released it." I said pointing out a major flaw in his argument.

Ryou piped up at that moment also, "It attacked me!" We paid him and his ramblings no mind.

A group of kids run up, "Hey mister, can we have our ball back?" The first kid said pointing to said ball in Marik's hands.

Marik shrieked like a young girl, dropped the ball, dove behind the bench while crying out, "Stranger Danger! Stranger Danger!"

I shake my head in exasperation, "Yeah, it's all yours. It's probably for the best Marik doesn't have it."

The children looked shocked, disturbed, and confused but took their ball and ran away regardless.

After Marik was sure they were gone he whispered, "Are they gone?" Without waiting for an answer he walked back around from his shelter-safety-zone-delusion bench. "Why were those tiny, strange children after me?"

"A little conceited to think they were after you, isn't it?" Ryou said.

"But what else could they have been after? If I hadn't taken shelter when I had, they would've captured me!"

"Oh I don't know, maybe they wanted the ball that you were holding?" Ryou said sarcastically.

"Now who's conceited? Just assuming that **I** had the ball." Marik countered.

"How is that?-" Ryou spluttered. "How is that conceited? I **saw** you with it!"

"I don't know Ryou," I said in a knowing tone. "You had just gotten hit in the face, you could've been delusional." I paused. "Or after the ball for revenge..."

Marik gasped, "That's why you did it? How could you Ryou? How could you side with the tiny people?"

"They aren't that small! They must only be a few years younger than me!" Ryou said.

I'm surprised and it must have shown on my face. "Really?"

This seemed to get Marik on a whole new topic, as all signs of emotions he had previously been showing vanished and he took on a curious tone. "Ryou, what grade are in anyways?"

**Ryou's POV**

"I'm going to be a freshman." I answered.

Bakura and Marik exchanged a look. Bakura asked, "What school are you going to?"

"Um," I started not completely sure. "I'm transferring, and I kinda forgot the name of the school." I rubbed the back of my head sheepishly.

Bakura and Marik exchanged another look and chorused an 'uh-ooooh' as an added bonus.

"What? What's wrong with being a new kid freshman year... oh." I said coming upon the realization that I was going to be a **new **kid**. Freshman **year. I hung my head in despair. "I'm dead aren't I?"

"No," Marik said. "There is one way to survive." I looked up in hope.

"Really?" I asked.

"Yep."

"..."

"..."

"...Are you going to tell me?"

"Nope."

"What?" I exclaimed. "Why not?" How could he make me so hopeful just to smash my hope? What did hope do to deserve being crushed? That's just rude.

"Because I don't know it." Marik stated like it was common knowledge that he didn't know and I should have known that he didn't know.

"Then who does?" I asked. I hope he isn't going to say something like he doesn't know anybody who actually does know. The cruel jerk probably will.

"Fluffy knows!" Marik pointed a finger towards said white haired teen.

"You do?" I managed to sound not so hopeful so he won't think I'm desperate (no matter how desperate I may actually be) and try to trick me. Although, if it does sound suspicious, I could always talk Marik into doing it first...

"Yeah, so on the first day of school, go to the lunch room-" Bakura started but I cut him off.

"We have open campus."

"... Go to the lunch room." He said firmly.

"Okay."

"Sit with the toughest kid in the school. Grab you lunch tray, and-." Bakura was cut off yet again by me.

"The trays are styrofoam."

"Uh, grab your chair-"

"The chairs are attached to the table."

"A really big text book? Or do you not have those?" Bakura is visibly getting frustrated.

"We have those." I confirmed.

"So take the book and whack him upside the head."

I paled. "Uh..."

"And when you get out of your coma, you will be cool."

**THE END**


	13. Author's Note

Hello all! It's been... I don't know, a year or two (maybe more?) since I wrote this story. Slightly less than that since I attempted to edit it. Looking back, I realize I was not a great writer. But you all don't care about that.

Real News: I have dropped out of the YGO fandom. Sad but true. I refuse to give up on this story though. **So I have decided to rewrite it and post it new.** Really, I kind of want to delete it but I feel like it's good to see how far I've come. Plus there are some thoughtful reviews I'd hate to lose. This was a great experience as a writer and now I want to test my skills in comparison.

I'm still not great, arguably not even good, but I tell funny jokes.

And I'd like to see you try to say otherwise.

Ahem, so yes. I was just editing but realized I was making too many changes to replace it with a clear conscience. I want to give this something resembling a plot. Before, not going to lie, I just wrote what I thought was funny. I didn't care if it was OOC or unnecessary, I just wanted to make people laugh.

So if you're interested in a redo of this story but better, **check it out on my profile. **Look I even bolded the important bits for those with short attention spans!


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